This the story of the the army of Gondor, Rohan, Dol Amroth and the rest on their way to Morannon.

The journey to Mordor is going really good so far, for the army had reached Osgiliath without any trouble. It isn't till they get to the bridges where they encounter trouble.

There are no bridges.

The army is very disappointed. The only way to get to Mordor now is to get some Elven boats.

"Crap!" Aragorn shouts. "Why'd we have to dump that one boat down Rauros?"

"I told you we could have cremated Boromir, but no-ooo!" Legolas says angrily.

"Well, it's no use fighting over it now," Gimli reassures. "I guess we'll have to wade across."

"Sorry, guys. Can't do," Imrahil said. "First, the water is too deep for horses (looking at Rohirrim) and hobbits (looking at Pippin). And second:" he dips a spear into the water, and quickly pulled it back out. The only thing left of it is the arrowhead.

"Oh yeah, we forgot about that defense," Beregond says. "Red-bellied Piranah. Sauron would hate to get his tootsies wet in that!"

"Very helpful," Gandalf groans. "You'd think your species would have more faith in the wizards, but no."

"Well, when we heard about Saruman, well..." Imrahil explains.

"Despite that, we've pulled your butts out of the fire for millenia," Gandalf responds.

"I'm not going to Mordor via Beorn. My dad always said to stay away from him," Gimli says.

"Well, let's not panic. There's got to be a way around it," Gandalf calms. He looks around and spots a large raft. There is a sign pinned to it. He reads it.

This boat can support a hundred people at a time, and needs seventy-five of them to row. Unfortunately, the boat can only survive fifteen trips. What is your strategy to. . . ah, I hated these questions in school."

"Well, let's try it," Legolas says. After forming a plan, they begin their trips across. Unfortunately, it goes over fifteen and the raft sinks. The remainders just barely escape from the piranah.

As they catch their breaths and nurse their injuries, a group of Men walk up to them. Some of them are carrying bridges.

"Just got back from our lunch break," a man says.

"Lunch break?" the army asks.

"Yeah, near the eastern end of Osgiliath," the man replies.

"Why did you take the bridges with you?" Gimli angrily asks.

"Well, we didn't want any of our enemy crossing them."

"But what about us?" Aragorn asks.

"Well, if you were marching to Mordor, you'd have to be pretty stupid."

"And you were having a lunch break on the other side?" the whole army asks.

"Yeah."

The man is instantly cut down by Anduril.