(with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

also posted on my Tolkien website-

www.geocities.com/nerwen2001/hobbitwonky.html

Copyright 2001, only to be used with permission.

'Twas beleg, and the swarthy trolls
Did shire and grimbold in the naith;
All misty were the boromirs,
And the gnome raths out-wraith.
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"Beware the Hobbitwonk, my son!
The barbs that bite, mistakes he'd catch!
He'd give PJ the bird, and shun
the Rotoscoped Bakshi-trash!"
-------------------------------
He took his comp-keyboard in hand:
Long time the webhome foe he sought--
So rested he in the Chat Room (free),
And sat awhile in thought.
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As o’er the Ufthak thread he poured,
The Hobbitwonk, with words of flame,
Came posting through the message board,
And opined as it came!
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It talked of things like Balrog wings,
Said Arwen with a sword’s inane.
Tom Bombadill, it mourned for still,
All change it did disdain.
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One two! One two! Each point was skewered,
His final shot was "get a life!"
He left it mute, with no dispute.
Gave posts a rest from strife.
-------------------------------
"And hast thou slain the Hobbitwonk?
Come to my arms my bree-land boy!
Oh fladrif day! Eglerio! Hooray!"
He chortled in his joy.
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'Twas beleg, and the swarthy trolls
Did shire and grimbold in the naith;
All misty were the boromirs,
And the gnome raths out-wraith.