10. Mr. Frodo is an axe murderer. He’s a good-for-nothing, lazy, selfish, cruel…
9. Gollum is the only friend I’ll ever know.
8. Mirror? Who are you kidding? That’s a birdbath!
7. Oh Sauron! I am but a fool! Darling I love you though you treat me cruel!
6. Orc fashion is the best to ever come out of this age!
5. How much does land cost in Mordor nowadays?
4. I’ll just eat Mr. Frodo’s share (lembas). He’s too stupid to notice.
3. Nazgul, can I have a signed picture?
2. Ah, my preciousssssssss!
1. Harhar! Frodo can never match me! They’ve no idea I’ve placed a huge iceberg before they sailed! Harhar!