Things to do (and not do) when you see LOTR

1. Chant Frodo! Frodo! every time that Frodo is on the screen.

2. Scream NO! and huddle into a fetal position every time the Black Riders appear.

3. DON’T go into the theater wearing Harry Potter glasses and go on about how Tolkien ripped off Rowling.

4. Take several life-size character cutouts to the theater and hold conversations with them at critical points, asking them questions about their experiences in New Zealand.

5. Scream "Get 'em Elijah!!!" or "Kill 'em all Viggo!!!"

6. Take a whole bag of Fake Gold Rings and try to sell them to people saying "It’s the One Ring".

7. DON’T stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait...where the hell is Harry Potter??"

8. Every time Pippin blunders something, say in a loud voice, "I think he's forming a 'bad hobbit'" and laugh hysterically.

9. Every time Aragorn says something, make a joke about his "broken sword".

10. DON’T try to sing along with Enya, but use the lyrics of Old McDonald.

11. When Arwen shows up, start chanting "We want Glorfindel! We want Glorfindel!"

12. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.

13. DON’T take your replica of the One Ring and listen to it talk to you during the movie, especially if you plan on talking back to it.

14. Bring a staff, and when you're standing in line to get tickets and someone tries to push in front of you, say "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" and do the bushy-eyebrowed Gandalf thing.

15. Set up a small table, and sign autographs in LOTR books, programs, etc, as a character in the film: "I was the fifth orc from the left...best wishes."

16. DON’T get up and do the weird elbow dance Frodo does at Bilbo's party, [did anyone else see that - it was...disturbing.]

17. When Frodo is unbuttoning his shirt to try on the mithril, DO yell "take it off!"