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10 Reasons Why Tolkien's World Wouldn't Fit In Today's World - Sauron in the Isle of Werewolves

10. Palantir is constantly used to surf for porn or look in the girl's locker rooms.
9. Sam's claims that he "loves" his "master" are frowned upon by friends, family and the Eru Church.
8.Galadriel is in fact a Columbian drug lord, telling Frodo that her lembas will give him quite a kick.
7.After the slight incident with the One Ring, a new enemy is perceived in the form of Mr. T.
6.Morder and Gondor armies don't fight but instead stand dissing each other, claiming either the East or West side is better.
5.Denethor claims he is ruler only and makes several rude comments about Aragorn's "mama".
4.It turns out that the constant smoking of pipe weed has created quite an addiction. After a bad harvest, Hobbits have withdrawal symptoms and their species die out.
3.When the Istari land in their different robes, Cirdan makes several jokes and asks where their Megazords are.
2.The Fellowship and Nazgul get drawn into a heated debate about how exactly you define death. Scientific methods failing, they just decide to kick the nancy elf's ass.

… and the number one reason why Tolkien's world wouldn't fit in today's world is:

1.Sauron sues for the taking of his Ring and criminal damages done to Mordor. Bribes jury, wins case and destroys the world.

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