From Gilver & Sullivan's "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"

A NIGHT AT THE OPERA WITH SAURON

Scene 1

Sauron:

I am the very model of an ancient evil general,
I like to torture souls, both the greatest and the minimal!
In Mordor, Land of Shadow, my power is extendable
Over all my hosts of Orcs whose lives are quite expendable.
I never liked the Elves much, and I've no care for Dwarves at all,
The Maiar and the Vanyar and the Valar in their golden hall.
I'd really like to put an end to all of them and everything,
And so I think I'll rule the world by forging this gold, shiny Ring!

Chorus of Orcs:

And so he thinks he'll rule the world by forging this gold, shiny Ring!
(dance number)

Sauron:

I forged my golden Ring in the fiery depths of Mountain Doom,
And did a dance of joyous glee all around the evil room!
And so you see, I'm Lord of Rings,
Darkness, gloom, and other things!

Orcs:

Darkness, gloom, and other things! (dance)

Sauron:
And since my power grew, I decided to go out to war,
I'd give them fear quite unlike any fear that they had known before!
Against my Ring, no man or elf could ever hope to stand at all,
I laughed so hard as one by one they all began to scream and fall!
But then as I was laughing something happened -- unbelievable!
That whiny brat Isildur had done something inconceivable!
Just as I was conquering and killing with my Orkish band,
That stupid little mortal cut the One Ring from my hand!

Orcs:

That stupid little mortal cut the One Ring from his hand!