Sung to the tune "I Like Chinese" by Monty Python

"And so Miss Petbottom went to bed, dreaming her dreamy little dreams,
unaware as she was of the cruel trick Fate had in store for her."

(The door opens and hordes of Elves push their way in, mumbling in Sindarin and Quenya)

"Yes, Miss Petbottom had fallen victim to the Evil International Elvish Conspiracy,
dedicated to the overthrow of Mortal Men everywhere-- ack!"

"We interrupt this broadcast to bring this very special message:

I like Noldor,
I like Noldor,
I like those shiny clothes they wore,
Their songs and their legends and their wisdom and lore;

I like Noldor,
I like Noldor,
They can drink me right down to the floor,
They're clever and they're crafty and they know the score;

I like Noldor thought,
The chaos that Feanor wrought,
Think of the many things they've done that are great:
The Silmarils, the Havens, Galadriel's decollate;

I like Noldor tales,
Their porters, lagers and ales,
If Tolkien was right in what he wrote about,
The Noldor will survive us, oh, there's not any doubt;

I like Noldor,
I like Noldor,
They're pretty, and easy to adore,
And best of all in bed those lovely girls never snore;

I like Noldor,
I like Noldor,
They're always ready for a war,
But they're cute and they're cuddly and they're never a bore;

I like Noldor,
I like Noldor,
They've done some things that I deplore,
But I will say they make the tastiest albacore…