Sung to the tune of "Killer Queen" by Queen

She keeps her Lorien throne room in a pretty Elven flet
Wisest of wise she is; Celeborn hasn't caught up yet
Built-in ability for Elven civility
And recipes for lembas, well, now you can't decline
Sun and moon she's older than; fairest in all the land
Extraordinarily nice

She's a Noldor queen
Be glad she's on your team
Steady eyes with an Elven gleam
Guaranteed to read your mind
Recommended by the wiz
Unparalleled at mirror biz
Wanna try?

To avoid Sauron's minions she kept her treasure close at hand
The ring called Nenya, she used it to preserve her land
Met a dwarf called Gimli, impressed him with her memory
Of dwarf-speak; stated simply,
She seduced him with her mind
Well, she came naturally from Aman (naturally)
To Arwen she was Grandmam
A bit older than she looks

She's a Noldor queen
Be glad she's on your team
Steady eyes with an Elven gleam
Guaranteed to read your mind
Recommended by the wiz
Unparalleled at mirror biz
Wanna try?

Drop of a hat she's as chilly as, as fearsome as the Dwarrowdelf
Then momentarily just a maiden, temporarily just an Elf
She'll absolutely drive you wild, wild
She's here to help you

She's a Noldor queen
Be glad she's on your team
Steady eyes with an Elven gleam
Guaranteed to read your mind
Recommended by the wiz
Unparalleled at mirror biz
Wanna try?