Sung to the tune of "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane

Ent draughts make you larger
Even though you're quite small,
And the ones that Barliman gives you
Don't do anything at all.
Go ask Pippin
When he's four feet tall.

And if wraiths go chasing hobbits
Well, you know they're going to fall,
Tell 'em a pipeweed smoking Wizard
Has given you the call.
Call Merry
When he was still small.

When the Ents on the rampage
Get up and tell Saruman to go
And you've tried Farmer Maggot's mushrooms
And your mind is moving slow.
Go ask Frodo
I think he'll know.

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead,
And the White Tower is talking madness
And the Red Eye's lost its head
Remember what the eagles said:
"Mordor's dead. Mordor's dead. Mordor's dead"