He's Always a Hobbit sung by F. Baggins to the tune of ‘Always a Woman’ by Billy Joel

He may throttle my neck, he may claw at my eyes
He will ruin my day with his tricks and his lies
And he acts as a guide only reluctantly
He looks like a frog, but he's always a Hobbit to me

He can lead us through marsh, he will snuffle and thieve
He may say he says truth (Sam will never believe)
And he'll take the Ring from me so I can be free
Yeah he cackles and grins but he's always a Hobbit to me

Oh he takes care of Precious
He can wait if he wants
He will get it in time
Oh and he almost repents
But he never quite does
He just changes his mind

He may promise us safety and paths up the Stairs
And then cunningly lead us to Shelob's dark lairs
But he'll bring out the best in my Samwise Gamgee
So I don't blame myself, 'cause he's always a Hobbit to me

(Mmm)

Oh he takes care of Precious
He can wait if he wants
He will get it in time
Oh and he almost repents
But he never quite does
He just changes his mind

He is not often kind, and he's frequently cruel
And to come back to Mordor may prove him a fool
But I can't even blame him for following me
In the end he will do
What I choose not to do
And he's always a Hobbit to me

(Mmm)