Simple, Going Invisible sung to the tune of "Sixteen, Going on Seventeen" from The Sound of Music by Lhachwen and Shimli

Setting: "The Prancing Pony", on dreary night in the town on Bree. Strider has just dragged the terrified Frodo up the dark stairs of the inn, snarling, "You draw far too much attention to yourself, *Mr. Underhill*… that is no trinket you carry!" Frodo: "I carry nothing!"

*Cue intro music to "Sixteen, Going on Seventeen"*

Strider: You know, hobbit lad, that the lost is found
And fate has turned the light on
Your life, hobbit lad, is the battleground
The world will meet to fight on

Frodo: To fight on…

Strider: You were simple (going invisible?!), Frodo, it's time to fear
Better beware, be canny and careful
Frodo, I'll make this clear
You were simple (going invisible?!), Nazgul will dog your way
Orcs with long swords and dark overlords
Will haunt you by night and day
Totally unprepared are you to face a world of fire
Timid and shy and scared are you of things beyond your Shire
You need someone taller and wiser telling you what to do
I am streetsmart (going on braveheart…)
I'll take care of you!

Frodo: I was simple (going invisible…), I know that I'm naive
Wide-eyed and scared and so unprepared
To know what to not believe
I was simple (going invisible…), innocent as can be
Visions of terror for the ring bearer
Just tell me this: Why me???
Totally unprepared am I to face a world of fire
Timid and shy and scared am I of things beyond the Shire
I need someone taller and wiser telling me what to do
You are streetsmart (going on braveheart!)
I'll depend on you!


(For those of you who remember the scene toward the end of 'Sound of Music' where Maria sings with Leisl…)

Scene: Frodo has just awakened in the house of Elrond, and is talking to Gandalf.

*Cue reprise music to 'I am Sixteen, Going On Seventeen'*

Gandalf: You were simple, (going invisible…)
Ringwraithes sought your death.
Fearing for life, you drew out your knife
And yelled the name 'Elbereth.'

Frodo: When that happened, (after it happened)
Things were a bit unclear.
I saw a Dark Lord, I flew to the ford,
But how did I end up here?

Gandalf: There was a flood that Elrond caused, the Nazgul washed away.
Glorfindel's horse, he never paused, and here you are today.
You may wish this kind of adventure
Never had come so true!
Just don't be simple, don't go invisible…
Keep the ring off you.

Frodo: I'll keep the ring off…

Gandalf: Keep the ring off you.