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MOON LETTERS : CREATIVE WRITING
You Might be a Wood-elf If - Spork

  • you think Manwe is a type of sloppy joe sauce.
  • you think a High Elf is one of your kinsmen after having smoked too much pipeweed.
  • you think the Lay of Earendil is how Elrond and Elros came into the world.
  • you like moonshine and grits with your lembas.
  • you accidentally used the Mirror of Galadriel for a spittoon.
  • you needed stitches because you were picking your teeth with the point of your arrow.
  • you saw a palantir and wondered where the three finger holes were.
  • you insist on sticking your hand in your armpit and making fart noises when singing the Lay of Nimrodel
  • you go to Rohan to pick up dates, but it's not because of the people there.
  • you ever bent over and had a part of your anatomy mistaken for the Crack of Doom.
  • you know what a giant spider tastes like.
  • you once saw an orc that you thought was "kinda cute."
  • you ever got whacked because you tried to use an Ent to scratch your back.
  • you ever offended someone through an inaccurate use of the phrase "hobbit hole."

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